The Sorrowful Imaginings of King Saul

And Saul said to his servants who stood about him, “Hear now, people of Benjamin; will the son of Jesse give every one of you fields and vineyards, will he make you all commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds, that all of you have conspired against me? No one discloses to me when my son makes a covenant with the son of Jesse. None of you is sorry for me or discloses to me that my son has stirred up my servant against me, to lie in wait, as at this day.”

– 1 Samuel 22:7-8

I have always loved attention and have (since birth) been the attention grabber of the family. During my early years (1-3) I would love the attention of my caring mother wiping my wound with a tender cloth and a bandage; wincing in fanciful pain all the while. It was a beautiful moment and I would, in fact, stay off a sprained ankle for a month after it was healed just for the sake of a fanciful limp.

Recently my father ordered a pair of crutches (I’m not sure why – in case of an injury I suppose) and they were hogged day and night by little ol’ me. I even lifted my foot to pretend it was broken. Eventually my arm pits became sore from the tops and this still didn’t stop me. I put pillows on them! I went on for a while after that until the rests were felt through the pillows and I was sick of crutches.

In the midst of the greatest attention, I find myself siding with King Saul. After he has just messed everything up and God tells him his family will never again have the kingdom and Saul will be cut off, Saul becomes depressed. He needs a musician (David the champion) and when the musician becomes a warrior, Saul hates him and wants to give his daughter to him to trap him (apparently Michal was a tough one) and when that doesn’t work he, tries to kill David! Then, when people help David escape, he whines and says everyone is against him and nobody feels sorry for him and his life is over! “How could you leave me, God? I’m so sad! Nobody cares for me! I’m so ticked, God!” While on his rant, Saul hears about some priests who helped David escape by giving him showbread from the temple. “They hate me too! Bring them here.” Just knowing Saul’s attitude would probably scare the pants off anyone who was called by him for interrogation. Saul, inflamed with anger kills the priest and their 85 family members except one.

David, on the run from the angry king and father-in-law, after he has spared Saul’s life twice, exiles himself with his two wives to Palestine. He has seen Saul’s moods and no longer trusts him, therefore, he flees.

Saul, however is back in panic mode. The Philistines have come to attack Israel and because Saul has left the Lord, the Lord no longer gives him instruction. Totally afraid, Saul consults a medium (a witch), to bring up from the dead the prophet Samuel who died approximately a few months before. The medium isn’t used to seeing real people from the dead (because her satanic powers only bring up demons that impersonate deceased people), but by an act of God, the Lord – NOT the medium – brings up the prophet Samuel and he has a message given him from the Lord.

15 “Why have you disturbed me by calling me back?” Samuel asked Saul.

“Because I am in deep trouble,” Saul replied. “The Philistines are at war with me, and God has left me and won’t reply by prophets or dreams. So I have called for you to tell me what to do.”

16 But Samuel replied, “Why ask me, since the Lord has left you and has become your enemy? 17 The Lord has done just as he said he would. He has torn the kingdom from you and given it to your rival, David. 18 The Lord has done this to you today because you refused to carry out his fierce anger against the Amalekites. 19 What’s more, the Lord will hand you and the army of Israel over to the Philistines tomorrow, and you and your sons will be here with me. The Lord will bring down the entire army of Israel in defeat.”

20 Saul fell full length on the ground, paralyzed with fright because of Samuel’s words. He was also faint with hunger, for he had eaten nothing all day and all night.

– 1 Samuel 28:15-20

“I’m going to die?!? Oh no!!” Then Saul faints with fright.

All this time, running from The Lord, feeling sorry for himself, being paranoid, listening to the counsel of witches and pursuing a man who had nothing against him, all Saul had to do was say two bitty words and he could’ve been a godly king like David. “I’m sorry.”

When David committed adultery with Bathsheba, he came to the Lord and realized what he had done wrong. He didn’t wallow and cry. He didn’t let his imagination get the best of him. He was a man and he confronted himself and took responsibility for his sin.

13 David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” And Nathan said to David, “The Lord also has put away your sin; you shall not die.14 Nevertheless, because by this deed you have utterly scorned the Lord, the child who is born to you shall die.”

– 2 Samuel 12:13-14

Alike Saul, we as girls love to bask in the glory of attention. We love to wallow and cry our hearts out. Even guys like to be pitied. It’s a human thing.

But out actions define ourselves. If we choose to have sorrowful imaginings and be hurt by corrections or advice, we are giving our own selves the pity. We must rise above the hard standard and take responsibility for our sins and admit that we are wrong. If we do not, the consequences are severe and we will continually live in sorrow for the sins that have built upon one after another.

Let’s put the crutches away and let’s take the responsibility, the correction, the advice and let’s take it and go. After all, if we live afraid of those things, we’ll never learn life’s most valuable lessons.

All for now,

Emily 😀

P.S. I was playing international Mariokart 8 last weekend and here’s a video of me getting first place out of twelve international racers on one of my favorite courses: Twisted Mansion. I am playing as Rosalina (girl with blonde hair over one eye) in the red bike. Fun. It’s a cool highlight reel, be sure to check it out. My Nintendo Mii user’s name is iloveJesus. Here’s the link: